Florida Lotus

Some people care more about a dog’s breed than the actual dog.

If you know, you understand what I mean.

Economy is like Halloween. You can either hoard all the candy to yourself, or you can take some candy from others and give some candy back.

Maturing is also a kind of economical exchange. First, we take and take and take, and when we grow, we learn to exchange for what we want, until someday we can give. Thanks to Manson for that one.

You can learn about non-renewable resources and global warming in school, but not practice your religion. I should have thanked my science teacher.

It takes a big bang to reverse a downward spiral.

Having cool stuff doesn’t make you cool, it makes you a hoarder. Accomplish things! Be bold! Chase your passion to the end of the world and beyond!

People with OCD have bottomless pits they’re trying to fill. I can’t get over the fact that my *** taught me to suck.

Simplify.

As to my previous rant on Shame, I believe the correct terminology is modernism vs. post-modernism. Do we even try to improve ourselves, or accept our inevitable imperfection?

You can acknowledge your doom and become defeated or invigorated. We each have the beautiful freedom to make our own lives, to live in this world. Isn’t that pretty fantastic?

The world might be burning. It might be freezing. It might be ravaged by war. So what do you want to do tomorrow?

You don’t have to write a hundred page essay to communicate a simple message. But it’s nice sometimes.

I can see what Marx meant about religion being the opiate of the masses. It numbs them down to the horrors of the world. Because who doesn’t want an objective purpose in their life? Who wants to face the possibility that there is no afterlife? Religion answers questions for us and calms us down so we can go back to work without fear. It’s a great tool for control, too.

Which makes me wonder. Was Jesus really the Messiah? I mean, I already know so much about him has been perverted, and changed to suit the purposes of the church, so how do we even know he came back from the dead? How do we know he existed at all? Faith vs. Logic. (Logic can be evil too. Conviction vs. Rationality.)

But a story doesn’t need to be true to be effective, as shown in today’s world. COVID doesn’t have to kill 1% of people, people just have to believe it does, as they still do. And maybe the calmness is the objective of religion. It’s not a bad thing. You just have to acknowledge it. It doesn’t mean you have to attack it, or destroy it. It’s just painkillers for life, even if it is or isn’t true. And sometimes painkillers help us: they allow us to continue and function.

Paychecks are dumb. They don’t inspire anyone to do hard work, they just inspire people to milk the clock and stay as long as possible until they go crazy. Put some thought into your design, and pay attention to what it dis/incentivises.

Journaling is like having a conversation with yourself or someone else in the future. “What did you do today?" They’ll ask. “How do you feel?"

I’ll enjoy looking back on today. I wonder what I’ll think.

Reviewing your past is the only way to learn for the future. Maybe you should look at yourself from a different perspective and cut through the crap. A lot of it is crap. Maybe some of it is the burger I ate today and made me feel oily and grumpy. Or maybe it’s because I’m stressed by something else, not John or Jane Doe.

I like to make intricate designs out of modeling clay, marvel at their possibilities, peruse its future.

Then I smash it into nothingness.

Over and over, it’s driving me crazy,

How long can I hold in? I gave up yesterday.

But I, I see a brighter future

And I, I hold hope high above my head.

Videogaming addiction. The internet is so magnetic, so attractive, so free and alluring and distracting (especially for us.) I tell myself it won’t happen again, then I say, “I’ll just do it this time,” then I find myself ashamed. What would you think about the person who watches a movie, then plays videogames, then does their chores? I know what I think. That person is a loser. That person is the last person I want to be. That person is who I see in the reflection.

And the little voice says, “But shouldn’t you be proud of who you are? After all, you can’t change who you are, so you may as well live with it. C’est la vie.”

And my other voice says, “But that doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever. Maybe it’s time to grow. You can’t expect to be this awesome person tomorrow if you do nothing today. Doing nothing to change yourself isn’t acknowledgement of who you are, it’s neglectful of who you could be.”

And me slumps onto the couch, tired of thinking, tired of being, tired of being tired and ashamed. And so begins again.

Moving to another place, not just traveling, can open your eyes past your shelter. I need to remember that.

The strength of D&D is that it’s so bland and predictable that you, the player, have to make it work.

Heard about the misperception of swastikas and the longhorn symbol. But they fail to account for the fact that perception of a thing is more important than what the thing actually is: reality is subjective.

Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover it up. I just learned that Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind and the Last Unicorn are the same studio. Alan Moore rules.

Remember, remember, November the Fifth.

Anything valuable takes time and dedication to achieve. My life makes a lot more sense knowing that. Dedication is hard for a person like me. I wonder how the loser became an acceptable idea. Words aren’t truth. I can say this is what I want, but that’s a lie.

There’s an absence of hope and a surplus of desperation. Time to make some lemon creme pie.

Like it or not, a TTRPG is an experience crafted by multiple people: the people who designed the game had an intended experience (which the mechanics should represent and encourage), but also the person who designs the actual experience, acts it out, and also the people who chose and play the game. Basically, each of these factors create a unique experience that can’t be copied, because each person or factor has their own factors and influences too.

However, all of these factors can make it difficult for two people to enjoy the same experience, or achieve the desired one. The GM may want a serious, gritty, dark game while the players may just make jokes about the setting and edgy NPCs.

I don’t know what that means or how to use it, but those are just some thoughts. If you didn’t notice, that’s also the definition of a social encounter, which happens on a day-to-day experience. People meet under certain circumstances, play the game their own way, and walk away under different clouds. It might not be an RPG problem, but rather a social one, that people have to agree and communicate to enjoy the game (or enjoy having no control at all).

That seems deep.

My life has been consumed by a little puppy. It’s like eating more donuts than you can rightly chew; kind of a good thing, but it’s still problematic. One of those “good problems.”

Society is a weapon. Argue what you will, when it comes to humans, we follow like lemmings.

One of those days.

I’m not frightened of touching shrimp anymore! They remind me of “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind,” the huge beasts with a hundred eyes.